Those Darling Dawdlers

         Everyone is ready to leave in the morning except for your preschooler.  Your elementary age son/daughter informs you that the book report that was assigned two weeks ago is due tomorrow.  And your high school student has music practice, homework and a youth group commitment to complete this weekend but has started on none of the above.  Is it just your kids or has procrastination reached new levels among today’s youth?

          When are children procrastinating and when are they simply acting like children?  It’s normal to occasionally remind kids to get themselves ready, feed the pet or do their chores and homework on time. Children may be considered procrastinators if they frequently need to be reminded, yet they still don’t do what they are supposed to do or finally do it only after a nightmare of tears, arguments or other type of emotional upheaval.

          The five year old who dawdles getting ready for school in the morning or the teenager who can’t get started on his homework are each wrestling, at their own level, with some of the same kinds of issues -  being unmotivated, uninterested, feeling overwhelmed, now know where to start and sometimes, just pushing an adult’s anger button.

Some ideas for helping children with procrastination include:

- Explaining the Difference Between a Standard and Perfection.  Many people confuse a standard of perfection – if something isn’t perfect, it is worthless – with a standard of excellence that values high-quality results.  Excellence is achievable, perfection seldom is.

- Show Your Child How to Identify Negative Messages.  Negative messages to ourselves, or self-talk, such as “everybody must love and approve me at all time” can be very destructive.  They contribute to procrastination and sabotage fun and a sense of joy or achievement.

- Deal With the Unknown.   With younger children especially, take them for visits to strange places ahead of time, show them where they will eat, where the bathroom is and how they can reach you.  If you can’t give them information because you don’t have it, talk about how normal it is to be wary of change and the unknown.

-  Model Organization and Planning Skills.   Share with your child the steps you go through when setting up a fund drive for a charity, a seminar at work or a family camping outing.   Show how large tasks can be broken down into manageable small tasks and a how the first small step can be the most important one.