NEWS for North Dakotans
Agriculture Communication, North Dakota State
University
7 Morrill Hall, Fargo, ND 58105-5665
January 29, 1998
Kim Bushaw, Parent Line Program Specialist
NDSU Extension Service
"Jeff, your turn in the shower."
"Jeffrey, it's getting late. Take your shower right away."
"Jeffrey Allen, what are you doing in bed? You didn't shower!"
You can a lead 10-year-old to water, but, gee, it's hard to get him to bathe. Although this year can be terrific in a great number of ways, cleanliness may not be at the top of the list. Fortunately, parents can still point out enough heroes with short hair to convince this child to keep his short with the illusion of clean. This helps at least a little.
The hygiene strike may well have to do with all the body changes the 10-year-old child may be experiencing. As with other stages, the mind and body can contradict each other. To a 10-year-old, fitting in and being the same as everyone else can be incredibly important. At the same time, their bodies are beginning to change which makes them feel different in very dramatic ways.
The growth spurt of puberty, which may start for girls this year, typically begins with outer extremities, such as hands and feet, then the legs and arms, and finally the torso. Adding weight around the middle before the child shoots up in height has many girls worrying about being too heavy as they watch their male counterparts remain thin for another two years or more.
Due to all the body changes, sex will be a topic of renewed interest. Wise parents will find everyday events in the news and on television to talk about their values and beliefs as well as facts on this hot subject.
Ten-year-olds of either gender may be incessant talkers. Parents can use this to their advantage in a number of ways. You can find out whatever you wish about other family members. Use this power wisely so as not to turn this child into the family spy, making him the despised enemy agent.
Encouraging this type of casual communication helps build a foundation of trust and good will to carry parent and child through the scary teen years ahead. And personally, I find that being a good listener nets me a lot of good help. When you invite the 10-year-old to follow you around and hold the garbage bag while you dump the trash or partner in doing the dishes, you accomplish two things at once. Balance these times with some quiet sit-down listening times, or the child may catch on and stop talking—and helping—all together.
Ten-year-olds are generally delightful if they are treated with the same friendly enthusiasm they generate. Be cautioned, though. Emotions run high at times, and anger becomes hard to contain when someone else is being treated a little better. A sense of justice prevails in the mind of a 10-year-old.
School, friends, favored collections, reading, eating and playing will consume the largest part of any 10-year-old's day. School is still fun and a good social world for the fifth grader. He may rally for a good cause until the next good cause finds him. Then he will rally for that one.
Collections gathered at age 10 are more refined than those accumulated in earlier years. Since buying and trading are fashionable in the collection world, the 10-year-old may develop the skills of a Wall Street tycoon. Making money to add to the collection is probably short-lived, so make the jobs manageable with regular pay and standards that are not too high. This year is terrific in its very own 10-year-old way.
More than 100 Parent Line columns are in the book "Please Tell Me This is Just a Stage." To order, send $9.95 per copy to Distribution Center, Box 5655, NDSU, Fargo, ND 58105-5655.
Kim Bushaw answers the Parent Line, an information and listening support warmline for North Dakota parents from the NDSU Extension Service. Call the Parent Line at 1-800-258-0808 (231-7923 in Fargo) with questions about this column and other parenting topics.
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Source: Kim Bushaw (701) 231-1070
Editor: Becky Koch (701) 231-7875