NEWS for North Dakotans
Agriculture Communication, North Dakota
State University
7 Morrill Hall, Fargo, ND 58105-5665
June 4, 1998
Kim Bushaw, Parent Line Program Specialist
NDSU Extension Service
I find myself drawn into every newspaper and magazine article about the kids who have opened fire on their classmates, peers and teachers. I realize the information we see are those tidbits harvested from reliable and not-so-reliable sources in and around the scene by reporters. Still, I pour over every detail to try to make sense of these senseless deaths and injuries.
The killing spree that took place in Oregon seemed to begin in a nice neighborhood with parents who were concerned about their children. The term "nurturing" was used to describe the parents. So far, no red flags. We all know people who grew up with nurturing parents and have managed just fine. As a matter of fact, isn't that a desirable parental attribute?
These parents, according to the magazine, were now 57 and 60 years old. That means Mom was about 42 when this boy was born and Dad around 45. Don't we generally worry about teen parents not being able to control their children? Now we also have to worry about older parents too?
This particular boy was relatively popular, not someone of the Unabomber's reclusive style. His friends report hearing him talk about guns, bombs and killing people over the years. People with friends aren't supposed to do this sort of thing, either. Most people have someone for a friend, and even those who don't probably wouldn't consider killing an activity in which they would participate. So add to the list of suspects people who have friends.
Computer access helped the student find recipes for bombs. It takes some time and knowledge to make one's way to the Internet and find such information. I must confess I've never looked for such a thing on the Web, but it would have to take some motivation to find the parts and construct a device like that. This child was apparently smart and driven, if only in a destructive way.
According to one article, there has been counseling help and parent involvement over the years. The family picture taken at the boy's older sister's college shows a happy foursome. So why did this happen?
Since the killings began, many people have speculated on the causes of these many murders. Here are a few of the contributing ideas to date.
n Children often have access to guns. This makes sense. Of course, there are other weapons that could be used, but it would be tough to have a drive-by knifing or to spray a crowd with other weapons. How can we curb the temptation? Lock up the guns. Trigger locks and vaults are readily available. The National Safe Kids Coalition strongly urges everyone who has guns to store ammunition away from the weapons and lock everything up. Remember, one little boy took the guns from his grandfather's basement.
n Violent acts are prevalent in our music, television, movies, everyday lives, games and vocabulary. Born into a culture that accepts and glorifies violence, it is little wonder that some children emulate what they integrate into their minds early and often in life.
n Lack of parental involvement in children's lives has also been considered a potential cause. Researchers at Johns Hopkins School of Public Health recognize that poor interactions with family and peers, poor school participation and the inability to control behaviors are early indicators of psychiatric disorders.
It may be a long time before we know exactly what happened with each of these children that drove them to take another human's life. In the meantime, we can act on what we know about children and take precautions to heed the warnings in the list above.
Will it help? Well, it certainly can't hurt.
More than 100 Parent Line columns are in the book "Please Tell Me This is Just a Stage." To order, send $9.95 per copy to Distribution Center, Box 5655, NDSU, Fargo, ND 58105-5655.
Kim Bushaw answers the Parent Line, an information and listening support warmline for
North Dakota parents from the NDSU Extension Service. Call the Parent Line at 1-800-258-0808 (231-7923 in Fargo) with questions about this column and other parenting topics.
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Source: Kim Bushaw (701) 231-1070
Editor: Becky Koch (701) 231-7875