NEWS for North Dakotans
Agriculture Communication, North Dakota State
University
7 Morrill Hall, Fargo, ND 58105-5665
April 1, 1999
Kim Bushaw, Parent Line Program Specialist
NDSU Extension Service
Living in the Information Age often nets us more information than we adults know what to do with, so imagine what it must be like to be a child.
Our modern age has enabled us to hear about things as they happen. Microphones are brought into the courtroom and cameras onto the battlefield. Reporters can practically send us a play-by-play from the eye of a hurricane. All this information is broadcast live on the radio, television and computer screen. Daily accounts appear in the paper and news magazines. It's nearly impossible for curious young children, anxious school- agers and tuned-in teens to miss these noteworthy events.
Babies and toddlers may not have the verbal skills to ask about these situations, but they certainly can react to the tensions of a caregiver worried about a warring world or bad weather approaching. Extra holding, cuddling, rocking, patience and verbal reassurance can help get this age child through a turbulent time.
Preschoolers see themselves as the center of the universe with everything revolving around them. Here's a case in point.
One Tuesday Jake caught his finger in the barn door latch. He was hurt, and he was mad. He kicked at the door and yelled at the barn. On Thursday, after straight line winds had taken the roof off the barn, Jake got very quiet, ran back to the house and cried hard several times that day. He thought he had wished it to happen. His dad and grandpa were sad and quiet, adding to his worry. Grandma read a book to Jake about weather and windstorms and told him how the barn roof had blown off.
Jake was relieved to know that he hadn't done it. He was ready to play again.
When they hear snippets of information that they don't understand and adults aren't available to explain, preschoolers tend to fill in the details from their limited knowledge of the subject. It may take a lot of time and explanation to change the child's thinking.
School-age children worry about personal safety and being separated from their parents and family. This age group does well to know what safety precautions to take in a given situation. They can be taught to avoid dangerous situations, to tell adults of problems, to prevent accidents and to share concerns. They are learning how things like fire, smoke, wind, water and war can destroy. School-age children also need to be reassured that adults are responsible for worrying about adult matters and for taking care of the children.
Ignoring topics that are on the news and the minds of many will not make these children feel better. Encourage children to talk about their knowledge and fears of the particular event that is happening in their world.
In a recent article from the National Association for the Education of Young Children, Sydney Garrets Clemens suggests asking provocative questions such as "Did anyone hear anything about Kosovo?" Then leave a long pause and make sure everyone has a chance to process what they have heard or seen or are worried about. She suggests emphasizing that the adults are in charge of taking care of the situation and the children. She also expects adults to share their information in a way that will help children understand and feel safe.
School-age children are likely to worry about issues close to home. Using a map to show where an event is taking place may help distance a child from the worry. Practicing the family fire escape plan and checking fire equipment together may also help a school-age child see what you already do to prevent harm from coming to him. Talk about his use of helmets, seatbelts, life vests and all the other ways he can help take care of himself on a daily basis.
Adolescents can become fearful and even pick up an attitude of hopelessness if important adults are cynical about the shape of the world. News of Y2K, bombings, the ozone layer, scandals involving politicians or athletes, school shootings, fire, floods and famine can promote a nightly dose of gloom for those who think that way. Helping adolescents take action for a good cause can enable them to see how much they can impact a negative situation. Writing letters to Congress, starting a peer counseling group at school, recycling, sandbagging or cleaning up after a disaster are just a few of the ways youth can be actively involved in efforts that affect many in their communities and the world. Now, wouldn't that be good news?
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More than 100 Parent Line columns are in the book "Please Tell Me This is Just a Stage." To order, send $9.95 per copy to Distribution Center, Box 5655, NDSU, Fargo, ND 58105-5655.
Kim Bushaw answers the Parent Line, an information and listening support line for North Dakota parents from the NDSU Extension Service. Call the Parent Line at 1-800-258-0808 (231-7923 in Fargo) with questions about this column and other parenting topics. The Parent Line is answered 7:30 a.m. - 9:15 p.m. Monday through Thursday and 7:30 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. Friday.
Source: Kim Bushaw (701) 231-1070
Editor: Becky Koch (701) 231-7875