NEWS for North Dakotans
Agriculture Communication, North Dakota State University
7 Morrill Hall, Fargo, ND 58105-5665

April 15, 1999

Children Need Help Coping with Bad News

Graphic news media accounts of war, famine, and other disasters can be especially overwhelming for young children because they are not developmentally equipped to deal with what they see. The good news for parents and other adults, say two educators from North Dakota State University, is that there are many strategies for helping children cope.

The first step would be for parents to supervise the viewing habits of their children, says Jean Soderquist, assistant professor in NDSU's child development and family science department. Parents can also use normal family conversation to gauge the awareness of school-age children.

"Don't press them," Soderquist stresses. "Just use the opportunity to let the children open up."

Young children may fantasize about what they see or hear and conclude that those same terrible things are going to happen to them. In the case of the current Balkan conflict, geography is an effective aid for reducing a child's fear, Soderquist says. By using maps or globes, adults can help young children understand where the war is taking place and why distance makes them safe.

"Adults not only need to verbalize their encouragement, they also need to show it through actions like hugs, smiles and hand-holding," says Helen Danielson, extension child development specialist at NDSU.

The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC), based in Washington, D.C., cites a number of symptoms and behaviors that young children may display when they're under stress. These warning signs include crying and whining, regressive behavior, separation anxiety and fear of being alone, changes in sleep and behavior patterns, illness, and aggression.

Research shows that some young children may display their depression through aggressive behavior, Soderquist says. Young children may attempt to act out things they don't understand. This acting-out behavior could explain a sudden interest in "war games."

Allowing young children to express their feelings through artwork or storytelling can help expose what's at the core of their fears, Danielson says. Adults should not downplay young children's fears but rather acknowledge their concerns. This situation also provides an opportunity for parents to assess their own fears and discuss those fears with their children.

"Help the children realize that they're not alone in this, that there is support—your support," Soderquist says. "Discussions like these also create an opportunity to reincorporate family values. Subjects like patriotism and how people solve their problems are good talking points. Also, it's appropriate to talk about family members who've served in war and the positive contributions they made."

Some families may draw on their spiritual beliefs and pray for soldiers and victims while other families may decide to make contributions. Parents should ask young children for their input on what type of contribution to make. Soderquist says monetary contributions should be in an amount that is meaningful to young children.

Danielson says there are many age-appropriate informational books available to help parents and children work through stressful situations. Some libraries and book sellers may also carry children's fiction that help children identify their emotions and explain their feelings. For additional information on a number of subjects, those with Internet access can visit the NAEYC Web site at http://www.naeyc.org/.

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Sources: Jean Soderquist (701) 231-7335 and Helen Danielson (701) 231-8289

Editor: Dean Hulse (701) 231-6136