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June 13, 2005 Keys to How Fathers Connect with Their Children The most significant way for fathers to connect with their children is through participating in shared activities, according to a study co-authored by researchers from North Dakota State University and Brigham Young University. The study is published in Fathering, a journal of research about men as fathers, and was led by Sean Brotherson, Extension Service family science specialist at North Dakota State University. David Dollahite and Alan Hawkins, both from Brigham Young University, were the other researchers. “How fathers connect with their children is important and gives insight into how parent-child relationships can be strengthened,” said Brotherson. “This research provides a window for understanding some of the specific and powerful ways that fathers genuinely connect with their children.” After conducting in-depth interviews with fathers concerning their relationships and the dynamics of how they connected with their children, five central themes emerged:
The most significant pattern that emerged was the personal connection created by fathers participating in shared activities with their children. The activities discussed most frequently by fathers were:
“A distinctive component centered on the recreational nature of the activities and the focus on relaxing and having fun with each other,” Brotherson says. “This seems to facilitate companionship and enjoyment.” A second primary theme is associated with fathers connecting with children while expressing support and giving care at times of illness, anxiety, death or other concerns prompting a need for togetherness. Fathers in the study shared numerous examples that occurred during hospital care, the passing of a loved one or in other trying situations. Fathers in the study also described a variety of connecting moments that were based on joyful, positive and meaningful exchanges they experienced with their children. This pattern involved fathers connecting with children through shared exchanges of time, affection and emotion. “These moments shared by fathers seem to exist as windows of time in which the distractions of a hurried schedule or busy lifestyle are blocked out and they can focus on feeling close to their children,” Brotherson says. A final prominent pattern centered on fathers having spiritually based encounters with their children. In these encounters, fathers described connecting with children through participation in specific spiritual activities, such as prayer or service to others. “Spiritual activities are powerful and furnish a positive context for a father’s sense of connection and responsibility,” notes Dollahite, whose research focuses on religion and family relationships. “The findings of this study,” Brotherson says, “all point toward the tremendous value of building positive connections as a father. The voices of these men share a message of positive possibilities for fashioning healthy experiences of connection between fathers and their children.” ### Source: Sean
Brotherson, (701) 231-6143, sean.brotherson@ndsu.edu
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