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November 24, 2006 Traditions Offer Opportunities for Connection Traditions offer family members an opportunity to feel included, share values and connect with each other in meaningful ways, according to a North Dakota State University family scientist. While many link the holiday season with family traditions, there are other types of connections and community traditions. "Regardless of type, family traditions that last and have personal meaning for family members are the ones that develop the strongest," says Sean Brotherson, NDSU Extension Service family science specialist. Family traditions of connection are centered on regular, consistent activities, such as morning and bedtime together, meals, outings and vacations. Birthdays, family reunions and holidays comprise the traditions of celebration. Traditions of community can include weddings, funerals, other religious events and community gatherings ranging from block parties to football games. "A key benefit of family traditions is predictability, which brings a sense of regularity and order that families need, especially children," Brotherson says. "Another benefit of family traditions is identity, the sense of belonging that makes families feel unique." Building and maintaining traditions always has been based on family decisions, Brotherson says. However, now that there are so many different types of families, communication is more important than ever. Single-parent families, blended families, multigenerational families and families with different ethnic backgrounds all need to discuss and select traditions that work best for them. The same is true for families experiencing economic stress or a family crisis, such as divorce. "It's important for families to recognize that traditions vary widely and often change over time," Brotherson says. "Sometimes, a little bit of change in family traditions is not a bad thing. During tough times, families need to assess their situation and identify those traditions that they can reasonably maintain, along with the traditions they may need to modify or abandon." Another decision families need to make regarding traditions is based on the “old” or “new” question. Answering the question forces family members to determine whether a tradition is serving them in a positive way or whether they are serving the tradition. Many families have old or established traditions that they would like to continue, but to involve younger generations in a meaningful way, the older family members may need to find ways to teach the value of these traditions. At the same time, members of the older generation also should recognize that young families need a chance to begin their own family traditions. This may require restraint on the part of those who want to make sure certain family traditions continue. “The best formula for working out concerns involving family traditions involves a maximum amount of discussion and understanding, and a minimum amount of pressure, guilt or other forms of negativity," Brotherson says. ### Source: Sean
Brotherson, (701) 231-6143, sean.brotherson@ndsu.edu |
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