Submitted by: agcomm,  Thu Oct 16 11:32:31 1997


Parent Line:  Parents and Teachers Learning Together
 
Kim Bushaw, Parent Line Program Specialist
NDSU Extension Service
 
     Everything is calm at the moment, but from time to time as
situations have arisen at school over any number of issues, I've
wondered what my children have learned from watching me react
and, to a lesser degree, what the teachers have thought about my
reactions. 
     From early in our school careers, we've all heard about "the
file" or "the record" that tracks a child's progress. Every time
I was tardy as a child or brought home a low grade, I would
picture the teacher, assisted by the principal, running to stuff
this tidbit of information in "the school record." It's probably
this over-imaginative paranoia that has from time to time taken
over and pushed me to wonder if they keep files on parents at
school too. 
     In the early years of my children's school careers, words
like "concerned," "inquisitive" or even "hyper-enthusiastic"
would have filled my file. Those professional words would have
taken the place of their more critical counterparts such as
"fanatic," "questions our every move" and "busy body."
     More and more we see evidence that parents who take an
active interest in their children's school careers produce
students who are more enthusiastic about school. Signing up to
read or be read to, baking a cake for the carnival and running
the book fair are all important and necessary jobs.
     But what about when things aren't going so well? How do
parents and teachers learn to trust one another and work together
for the good of the child? 
     According to Katz, Aidman, Reese and Clark with the ERIC
Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education, there
are several strategies to keep communication flowing from home to
school. Teachers can be available to parents who have questions
by phone, fax, e-mail or in person, whatever suits both parties
best. List any pertinent phone numbers and the days and times
available to visit with parents in the welcome- back newsletter.
Keep the appointment calendar handy to schedule visits when
parents call. 
     An open-door policy may seem disruptive but can be helpful
in calming a parent's nervousness and may help the child settle
in more quickly too. Observation is one tool parents can use to
see the problem areas firsthand.
     One of the most fun "homework" assignments I was ever given
to do for my children was an informal questionnaire sent home by
a grade school teacher the first week of class. We were invited
to share personal information including our children's likes and
dislikes, ways they cooperate best, hobbies and interests. This
helped the teacher get to know her shy new charges a little more
quickly. Being overzealous about everything at that time, I wrote
a small book to send back to school. I'm embarrassed to think
about it now, but I may have even included photos and drawings.
     Other ways to keep lines of communication open with parents
include meeting parents early in the year, involving every parent
in classroom activities, and using caution when discussing
parents and children from other families. Children with parents
living apart may need two copies sent to two homes so that
everyone stays informed. 
     The suggestions for parents are practical and usable too.
Parents need to observe their children for changes, listen
carefully to the words and feelings connected with school,
contact the teacher as needed, avoid negative comments about the
teacher or school, and teach problem solving early and often.
     Clear communication between parents and teachers, even if
it's a bit overdone, can free the child to go about the important
business of learning.
 
 
More than 100 Parent Line columns are in the book "Please Tell Me
This is Just a Stage." To order, send $9.95 per copy to
Distribution Center, Box 5655, NDSU, Fargo, ND 58105-5655. 
 
Kim Bushaw answers the Parent Line, an information and listening
support warmline for North Dakota parents from the NDSU Extension
Service. Call the Parent Line at 1-800-258- 0808 (231-7923 in
Fargo) with questions about this column and other parenting
topics. 
 
(Editors: A new photo of Kim Bushaw is now available. If you run
Kim's photo with her column, please call (701) 231-7881 or e-mail
agcomm@ndsuext.nodak.edu to request a new photo.)
                              ###
NDSU Agriculture Communication
Source: Kim Bushaw (701) 231-1070
Editor: Becky Koch (701) 231-7875